Reborn

This dull gloomy day of December, I am reborn; Or rather, resurrected.

I've found my blood warm once again. Able to forgive, able to finally like another human being. The darkness which I called home for years, the shadows I struggled with, the piercing screams of memories, they have all faded, and into the dull grey air they vanished.

I used to think my heart was cold, and it did become cold. Yet, like a thawed piece of frozen meat it bleeds once more, it throbs once more, but the pain is a relief. I knew I have to let the dead stay dead, and rested.

Several times I thought I had walked out of the darkness into the grey, yet I had merely walked from midnight to dusk all over again. This time, I see the true dawn. I see the true spring after winter.

Will you be the first spring-flower to sprout?

Finale

The tyrant's statue falls

A symbol of new hope

A promise of fresh starts

The liar's tongue withers

A symbol of true words

A promise of true intentions

The clouds have cleared

And the end of days arrive.

A new dawn?

Or yet another eternal night.

Case File: Injured Bird in NTU

Day 1

Subject: Bird, species undefined. Presumed to be a wild sparrow.

Age : Fledgling, most feathers have been grown.

Found : NTU Campus, outside McDonalds.

Info : No adult bird-calls, no adult retrieval. Collected at approximately 7pm, 29th November 2009.

Characterization: State of panic/shock, food/water refusal for a few hours, followed by calm and compliance.

Food given: Oatmeal

Water source: Hall 8 water cooler

Entered sleep at 10pm.

Day 2

Active at 7.40am.

Food given: Oatmeal, cooked rice, red ants.

Water source: Hall 9 tap water

Characterization: Active throughout the day, will alert humans for food/drink. Meal times approximately one hour in between. Entered sleeping state at 8pm.

<----- Sleeping state

Info: Found lying sideways at 9.40pm. Eyes wide and breathing appeared rapid and shallow.

<----- 9.40pm

Left eye fluttering due to stuck piece of oatmeal, removed at 9.45pm.

Breathing ceased and eyes closed at 9.53pm. No heartbeat detected.

Originally planned to return corpse to location where it was first found, but corpse attracted a horde of red ants by 12.30am. Changes made to plan. Placed on a grassy slope outside room, makeshift grave made.

<------- Grave

Reason of death: unknown

Case closed.

Boiling Point

I'm tired of being the nice guy

I'm tired of taking consideration of how others feel

I'm tired of always thinking for others and putting myself second

I'm tired of keeping the silence even though I know I must not

I'm tired of being taken for granted

I'm tired of being invisible

I'm tired of being in a corner when the glory is mine

I'm tired of trying to come up with subjects just for the sake of talking

I'm tired of all the obvious lies thrown into my face

I'm tired of being able to see through others

I'm not invisible

I'm not that much of a nice guy

I'm not here for others to use me

I'm not taking all the bullshit any longer

I have my pride

and I have my boiling point

If I was meant to be invisible

I would have died many years ago, and at least I would have done it by my own hand

I'm making myself known

I'm throwing away my honor and morality

If they will not appreciate me trying to be nice

Then they shall regret creating a monster

Crack

It cracked

It ruptured

It tore

It fissured

It broke

It shattered

It disintegrated

It vaporized

It imploded

It disappeared

and it was lost

and lost

and lost

and lost

and found?

no, still lost

and lost

and lost

the same way you lost your mind.

The Beginning

All whom wishes to proceed further
Sacrifices must be made
Laws must be broken
Rules must be bended
Life must be darkened
And know this,
with my death
life is just
the beginning

Silence

Ah yes the silence of the night.

The raindrops have stopped falling about half an hour ago. And that almost gay roomie of mine is fast asleep. Here I am, sitting on my chair in this dark and silent room. This is the time to start writing, again.

To write it all out, that would be a total waste of time, and for letting it all out I would rather speak. But there isn't anyone who would listen. I do not wish for listeners too. It is all in my head. Some time ago, I might be receiving some irrational advises from whatever that was living inside my mind, but having betrayed myself, having turned my back to the voices, the silence is my only refuge.

Silence, it is good, like a double dosage of painkillers. I bleed, and I bleed within, there will be no screams, and there will be no cries, thus the silence is an abundance, but I welcome it none the less.

If there is but one wish I would like, may it rain once more, and may it wash away my humanity. For to be human, is to bleed, and to hurt, and to suffer.

No, I will not wait for the rain.

Nothing can be done, and so I will change. It will not be a change into another form. I would plainly revert to the creature that I once was.

And into the refuge of the silent night I will go.

I leave my humanity behind.